Mind Management - No More Negative Thinking

Every day I coach incredibly talented, successful people with amazing skill sets, backgrounds and experience. But whether they are entry level, mid career or CEOs with long track records, many struggle to market themselves in the right way. One thing most have in common is without exception, they self -sabotage and block their own progress, not so much with what they do directly - but what they think. These thoughts not only control the outcome of any actions, but equally significantly, can also be at the root of inaction, lack of engagement and follow through. This is particularly hard to track if we develop strategies for seeming to be active (" busy-ness") when indeed the opposite is going on. There is a lot of truth in the old adage "mind over matter". Or mind matters!

I'm not talking about people losing sleep over being losers or useless. That would be too obvious. These thoughts are much more passive, pernicious,subtle and insidious, so ultimately more damaging. They are small disruptive internal messages that insinuate our sub-conscious thinking and keep re-playing in our heads until we believe them and ultimately act on them. We don't know why, or sometimes that these notions are even there. My son has a great phrase "drowning in my own thoughts" to describe those negative messages, which pop up when we least want them. Worse still, they provide an invisible, sub- conscious structure for our decision making processes but just as importantly for our lack of decision making.


I had a Skype call with a guy based in London this week who wanted some job search support. No problem. During the conversation he mentioned several times " being out of work for 2 years" and a need to explain a " 2 year gap on my CV". I scanned his CV. I checked and double checked. Nothing. Eventually I asked him when this 2 year gap had started. He replied December 2008. Okay.. we're now July 2009 - how was that 2 years? That thought was a complete mind fabrication !

At some level he had persuaded himself that his mid career decision to take a 12 month MBA course was " opting out" and therefore a period of unemployment, so he would need to defend his position with recruiters and interviewers. I have no idea where this pressure came from, that is complex and we only talked for 45 minutes. I just saw the outcome. Another approach could be that he had taken a brave risk, left a great job in a top company to strategically develop his career. It required leaving his own country and moving to a foreign one, adapting to a different culture and learning another language. His graduation coincided with the height of the credit crunch. That was the fault of a group of out of control bankers and a global trend in mindless consumerism. Nothing to do with him. Not only should recruiters not see this career enhancement step as a negative, but they should recognise it for what it is - a great series of achievements. (GC I hope you're reading this!)

So if you feel that anyone doesn't understand you, start asking them some relevant questions to check they have insight into your situation. In this case they might be monolingual or mono cultural and lived in the same town all their lives. If they can't see what you're about - perhaps you need to change the type of recruiter you're choosing to work with.

Negative thinking is at the root of most self sabotaging coping strategies: procrastination and perfectionism to name just two. We all do it because we fear what other people will think of us and ultimately we fear failure. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". No one is unique, everyone goes through this at different times over different issues and even outwardly successful senior people have doubts at times.

So how can you tackle that? Simple. Write the thought down. When written down a thought becomes clearer. Let's pick one and track the subsequent underlying thinking that might be churning beneath the surface and needs to be teased out. This is a very typical negative thought process that I work through with many people on a weekly basis.

ORIGINAL THOUGHT " Hmmm... I should apply for that job" write that down and then track in writing, your subconscious ,internal negative dialogue which might be something along these lines:

**But.. wait... if I send in my CV, they might call me .. **and I won't know what to say ... **then I'll make a complete idiot of myself on the phone and maybe in the interview... **then they'll know how useless I am..** then I won't get the job .. .**then they might tell everyone....**then everyone will know I'm stupid and laugh at me.. **then I'll let my whole family down... ** then I won't get any job anywhere, ever... **then I'll never work again... then I'll have no money so I'll be bankrupt ... **then I'll lose my house .. *then my wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/kids/goldfish will all leave me forever.. **then I'll be on benefits/welfare or living in a box ... **then everyone in the world will hate me...then

Hmmm ... OK.... I just need to go to the supermarket/pub/shower ...I'll send the CV off after dinner.

Sound vaguely familiar? So how do you deal with this?

Ok, now write down some opposing thoughts. Look at the facts. Realistically just by sending off your CV, what are the chances of you living in a box, with everyone thinking you're a fool and everyone completely hating you? Right.. Absolutely ZERO. You indeed be might be mismatched for the opening or your CV is not strong enough, but that is quite different. Why? All those things can be changed. There is quite often underlying wisdom in humour and as the joke goes everyone doesn't know you. Keep a job search log so you can't convince yourself into thinking that you're active when you're not. Facts talk.

The reality will be that the most damaging outcome is nothing. Your CV will not be selected by the ATS and you will sink to job search oblivion. Nothing is not good. So any action or activity from that process, even the messages you don't want to hear, are learning experiences and not negative ones.

What have you learned from doing nothing? That you you need to act now, otherwise the whole process repeats itself .

Twitter: Cynic to Convert in 10 weeks

Hello, my name's Dorothy.I'm a Twitter convert!

About 10 weeks ago @MD60 ( brother) suggested I sign up for Twitter. He insisted that it would be fun and a way for our dispersed family to stay connected. Unconvinced, mainly because of what I'd heard and read, I did finally register, but truthfully, it was because President Obama used it, rather than any family loyalty.

My efforts were rather half hearted. I followed @MD60, plus a couple of well known British celebs, which actually turned out to be duller than watching paint dry (sorry Bro!) I posted a few mundane things myself, trying to enter the spirit of it all. The minutiae of their daily lives held no interest for me at all. Cosmo Landesman of The Times (London) suggested that Twitter made even interesting people seem dull. I was in total agreement. I even bored myself.

But a few people, even through cyber-space, picked up on my "lost caused -ness". @karenpurves, @colinudelewis and @nicolabird and @judethecoach, all came to the rescue and went to huge lengths, with super supportive basic tips about choosing the right people to follow, posting a photo, leaving myself open to be followed (hadn't realised I was closed) and some of the other protocols. But even then, despite their encouraging words, cynicism still prevailed. Honestly... I did try - but the whole thing just completely eluded me. I sensed the tearing out of cyber hair.

Then one day - something kicked in. I have no idea really, even now, what it was. I think more by accident than design, I left the social media robots behind and finally started connecting with people with 3 digit IQs. Their tweets caught my eye and I started reading and responding. I engaged. I began to get, just a little, the Twitter etiquette and protocols. Gradually, there seemed to be a few people I was connecting with on regular basis who seemed fun, on the same wave length and prepared to give, rather than send automated messages and self publicity. I finally understood ( after 8 weeks - I know a slow study ) that I needed to download Tweetdeck to manage the activity.

Don't worry I'm not going to launch into a " How to..." pitch! Wouldn't dream of it! There's clearly no way someone can advise people on the detail of this process, when they only found the Tweet shorten button today! This is just to share my own Twitter journey. Sometimes the voices of the clueless, resonate as much as the voices of experts - a bit like Forrest Gump.

Generally, as an almost total beginner, what I look for are people that I find fun and interesting and are active in my areas of general interest. That's all. Nothing strategic or sophisticated at this point. I have no master plan. I make it a basic rule to only connect with people who have a photo or a convincing bio, wearing clothes. They do make a difference - so are mandatory, for me at least . I only follow animals if they are extremely funny.

I look at the stats just to check they're balanced and I can see that the individuals are active. I avoid braggers and give anyone pre-occupied with target-reaching a miss. Same for anyone who tries to hard- sell me anything early on. I am gradually identifying the egoists and I can see now that there are people who have the same messages on automated feeds which come around and around, 24/7. You know who you are! Guys, change the tape or stream ( or whatever it is that goes round) I suspect I will eventually decide to "un-follow" some of them, when I summon up the courage. Apparently this is " not a good thing". Whole contentious blogs are devoted to this process, with a slew of vitriolic exchanges in their wake.

So what has this got to do with a European Career Transition and Executive Search specialist? Why since last week, have I included a section introducing it into in my coaching programme? Don't worry - not the detail, just the principle.

At the moment 47% of Twitter traffic is US based, but that will change for sure. Just like the Big Mac, it will take root here in Europe. As more and more corporate HR and recruiters use it as a network, it will be another opportunity for candidates to raise their visibility and connectivity, in the hope of being found. With a job loss: job creation ratio at 3:1 in Europe, right now, job seekers need that. The churn on Twitter is huge, but people leave their bio details, and provided that the contact info doesn't change, that's great for internet sourcers.

But for me personally, and this is the message I share currently, the greatest value is the high speed communication of really useful, up to date information. Having it distilled and recommended by trusted sources is a major bonus. It's the sheer pace of the circulation that is amazing and fascincating. It's a wonderful way to stay in touch and keep a finger on an ever changing pulse. It has not only saved me hours of time, but brought my attention to sources and resources that I may have over looked or not even considered at all, simply because I didn't know they were there.

Earlier this week, I had dinner with a Tweet buddy @marionchapsal who was visiting Brussels. We had connected via Twitter. Despite mutterings from @MD60 about meeting strangers from cyber space, and the lady from Lyon turning out to be a potential axe murderer ( that thought is rooted in extensive knowledge of heinous on-line scams, following a long career in internet security) we had a wonderful, fun evening, sharing experiences and getting to know each other. What was most interesting, was that I saw immediately how 140 characters can convey a person's personality. She was exactly as she seemed in her Tweets! It was simply global networking at it's best. Virtual, became actual. Would our paths have crossed otherwise? Probably not. Just brilliant!

Somewhat approropiately, the restuarant of choice was the " Idiot de Village". Nothing lost in translation there.

Job Seekers: Adapt - Don't Panic

Hands up anyone out there who isn’t overwhelmed by the morass of information about all the things you need to do to manage your career or job transition. How do you feel when you see the myriad of suggestions: the do's and don'ts; the always and nevers; the 5, 10 or even 15 ways to get things right or wrong?

Confused?

Well me too! And this is my profession!

Every day there are more and more statistics telling us how the old order is gone, the new one is here (at least for the next few hours, until it changes again) and we actually fail to embrace it, at our peril!

If someone had told me 10 years ago I needed to work on my SEO, I would have taken myself (somewhat halfheartedly, it has to be said) to the gym. Facebook, hitherto, the domain of the young and wild, now has my mother (age 84, and certainly not wild) on its pages, simply to keep in touch with her dispersed family. True, her location is listed as being in Florida, when she’s clearly in the North of England, but that’s a minor glitch. So technology has changed all our lives and the way we do many things, especially in the communication and processing of information. It has overturned traditional business practises at every level and new ones are coming in to take their place. The pace of change is staggering and not unsurprisingly job search and recruitment is part of this amazing revolution.

The question is how long will this new status quo last? The honest answer is that no one really knows, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Because of course, there will be even more changes. What is true today, will not be the same in 5 years. And although pundits can take educated guesses, the reality is that no one can say for certain , when and how.

So let’s look at some of the latest stats:

· 97% of CVs are not read by the human eye
· recruiters take 20 seconds to scan a CV
· 80%of recruiters look for passive candidates, before active candidates
· 43% of candidates are ruled out by because of their internet presentation
· 100m videos on You Tube -150.000 downloaded every day
· 1.2 billion users for Facebook February 2009 with a 228% growth 2008 -2009
· 1382% growth 2008- 2009 for Twitter (Nielsen wire)
· 3 million Twitter users are in 39 - 45 demographic with over 7 billion Tweets per quarter between them
· 346 m read blogs every year, but some claim being impacted negatively by the Twitter boom.

So what do we learn from this? Times they are a-changing for sure. But what can we do about it? Not an original thought, but pure Darwinism, straight from the 19th century. We adapt.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent; it is the one that is most adaptable to change." - Charles Darwin (1809 – 1882)

It doesn’t mean we sit with our heads in our hands being overwhelmed by tweets, pokes, blogs and IMs. It might also be advisable to re-think the idea of putting our Elevator Speeches out on You Tube from our sitting rooms, in the hope that overnight, like Susan Boyle, we might be catapulted into an international arena and have every global head hunter beating a path to our doors.

For any of you who think of music and vinyl in the same sentence – don’t panic. Because for all the changes that are going on, critical core skills, personal qualities and experiences are still valued and it’s just about tweaking, or over hauling process management and packaging. All very do-able. And don’t worry, a generation X or Y person, who texts a recruiter to say “gr8 c u l8r” is also going to have to adapt!

Career management and transition strategies should be just that: manageable, dynamic and strategic. What does this mean?

* You have to identify and set yourself achievable (= manageable) goals within your skill set, either current or attainable

* Your process has to be organic and open to change

* You have to have a structured strategy that reflects your core values and goals

The how of it all comes later….